Open mouth, insert foot

[Cristina]

FH and I travelled to a funeral back home (4 hours away by car) of a family friend's parent. We attended the ceremony, the burial rites, and went back to the restaurant where we had lunch.

Everything was fine until it came time for us to leave. We said goodbye to the grieving family members we knew and it came time for me to say goodbye to the family friend who lost her father. Everyone who we said goodbye to said we'll see you next weekend at your engagement party (which is next Saturday) and so I told her see you next saturday as I was leaving. She said that she doesn't think she'll make it because she'll just want to be home. But her husband will be at the party. I felt really bad, like I still expected her there even after all that.

If everyone hadn't said their goodbyes to me by saying see you next week I wouldn't have gotten it in my head....I felt like such an arse! Is that a bad thing I did? I feel so bad....I feel like a prize idiot...She didn't look offended, but who knows what she'll remember, being in the horrible state she was in (just crying miserably). I just felt so awkward. When I told FH, he said that was a stupid thing I said. Sometimes I just have verbal diarhea...I hate it! :( If it was a bad thing I said, should I mention something to her husband next weeK? Or just leave it alone and ask how she is? I feel really badly...:(

Thank you ladies for listening :rolleyes: Maybe I just needed to vent....

[Chi06Wed]

well, if it was said to me, I'd just blow it off. i don't think you'd need to bring it up again unless her husband says something. honestly, i'm sure she will have forgotten about it by then with a lot of people talking to her the day will pretty much be a big blur. i'd just ask her husband how she is doing and leave it at that.

[Sabby12s]

What did you say when she said that she didn't think she'd be able to make it? If you were understanding and told her not to worry about it then I would just let the matter drop. If for some reason you acted dissapointed and hurt then I would be a bit more worried. She might have walked away from the experience thinking that you were acting selfishly. If the second scenario is the case, then I would say something to her husband the next time you see him. Maybe even send a card to let her know you sympathize with what she's going through.

[Cristina]

When I realized what I said, I said of course not...don't even think of it...you have to take care of yourself first, and went on from there. She and her husband are very softspoken people, but they all gossip like crazy, like talking about people behind their backs, including my FFIL. I hate this feeling :( Ugh...I should just not be around people! LOL

[karenswain]

I don't think you've got anything to worry about....and as someone else said previously I'm sure she won't be thinking about it at all because she will have spoken to loads of people all day. Sometimes the more you think about something the worse you remember and feel about it....and you kinda get it all out of proportion (well I do anyway).

[Chi06Wed]

i like sabby's thought of writing a card. just a sorry for your loss type of thing and not mention the wedding at all, then she won't think you are selfish at all

[jersey82]

i dont nessecarily think it was that bad of a thing to say. it might have better by not saying it but i dont think it hurt anything by saying it. who knows maybe she will come afterall to keep herself busy. if you feel that bad, i wouldnt even mention it again to her or her dh unless it is brought up to you

[dms1981]

If you want to say something to her DH maybe say something sorry if I upset such and such last week that wasn't my intentions I just was hoping that maybe should would want to come and get out a little bit, and hopefully she will still want that.