Marriage Counseling

[lilpipergirl]

We start tomorrow morning, with my minister. Yikes :o I'm a bit nervous. Not sure why. I just don't seem to communicate well sometimes. At least this one is going to be casual. We are meeting at Cracker Barrel for breakfast at 8:00 and I guess he is going to give us an overview and just get to know us. (I don't really know him b/c he is a new minister, who just started in September) I'm just glad that he was kind enough to do it on Saturdays b/c Ray works during the week, an hour away. The minister said he would like to meet with us 4 to 8 times. I'm hoping for the 4 b/c we also have to council with Ray's minister.
Keep your fingers crossed.

[Bianca]

Good luck! Don't be nervous, it'll be just fine! :)

[JoChelle78]

We have been trying to find out when we start counseling for 4 weeks now... Last Sunday at church our Pastor said he could do it this coming Sunday after church and lunch! I am nervous about it!!

[dms1981]

I am sure you guys will be fine, just try and have fun with it, maybe you guys will learn a little more about each other as well through this.

[Chi06Wed]

i was nervous when we had to do pre-cana (for catholic church) but it was very good and now we are going to do some more of a counseling thing. i actually enjoy it, providing you actually do know a lot about FH and have talked to him about things, its more of a "this is right" feeling. like added assurance, the only thing to be nervous about is if you don't share the same thoughts on things, there may be a reality check!

[lilpipergirl]

Ya, I think it will be good for us. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

[lilpipergirl]

Well, it really wasn’t too bad. This first session was really just an overview of what we are going to discuss. We were each given a 7 page questionnaire to fill out on our own time and turn it back in to my minister after Christmas. There are a lot of questions on it but, nothing that we really haven’t already talked about; although, some of them were kind of though provoking. Most were on family, financial, religious, and sexual issues. There is one question in particular that I’m not sure how to answer, or what they want me to put down. I’m not even sure I understand it. Here’s the question.

Do you think your mate is sexually adjusted and ready for marriage?
List three answers:


So, anyway, I don’t know quite what that means. Any ideas?

[Bianca]

That is a tough question... I don't really get it either. Maybe something about if your mate is ready to "turn in his player card"... like he's done with any sexual experiences besides what what you two will share as husband & wife... I dunno, just a guess.

Glad that the first session went well! I sent you a PM about the questions!

[lilpipergirl]

Here are some of the better questions. I just thought I'd post them, b/c some of them are worth thinking about, espacally if you haven't gone through premarital conseling.

1. Name two characteristics which you admire in your fiancé/e.
2. Name two characteristics or weaknesses which you least appreciate in your fiancé/e.
3. Are you well acquitted with your fiancé/e’s immediate family? Describe your relationship to them.
4. Give five reasons for wanting to marry your fiancé/e.
5. What would you consider grounds for divorce?
6. What is your opinion of household duties? Which responsibilities are yours?
7. What is your greatest fear about getting married?
8. What is your greatest hope or desire for you marriage?
9. What are two activates which you have in common? (recreation, social, etc)
10. Should each of you be permitted one night out a week for your own interests?
11. Who is to be the head of your home? What does this mean?
12. What is your plan for settling family problems? (e.g. when you disagree)
13. Who is to exercise the discipline for your children? How should it be done?
14. Should your mate ever keep anything a secret from you? If so, what?
15. Are you sure that you are a Christian?
16. Are you sure that your fiancé/e is a Christian?
17. How much money do you think you will need to operate your household?
18. How much money should your mate have for personal expenses?
19. Who is going to handle the money and payment of bills?
20. Do you have any debts?
21. Have you had previous sexual experiences?
22. Has your fiancé/e?
23. Do you think sex is very important in marriage?
24. What is your opinion of premarital sex?
25. Is there anything that makes you jealous of your fiancé/e?

[Bianca]

Awesome! Thanks for the questions! :)