View Full Version : stress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
09-16-2005, 01:32 AM
Well our priest had the deacon call today to tell me that he is unavailable for our wedding. :mad: This boils down to us living together. The church said he would say no, they he said yes, then he tried to weasel out a couple of months ago, and didn't. Deacon said if he backs out i will help you find a priest. So i went ahead and ordered invites.
so i get this call today. i am still getting married at this church, but if we do not find another priest, it will be vows only. a) not what i want b) i would have to unask my brother to serve and a few other people to bring up offertory.
so he asked if there is anyone else i had in mind. i told him i only had one priest in mind but i was told he was no longer doing masses, nor was he "able".:( Deacon bob asked who, and i told him. He said oh he lives at this assisted living place. he does masses every saturday. So this brings up two poinst a) not ill, if he was he would be at a nursing home b) still doing masses. so deacon bob is going to ask fr. leo to do this. i told deacon bob. make sure you tell him i am kenny ******'s daughter. He may not recognize my last name anymore (very uncommon, whereas step dad grew up in albers and has a common name). this priest married my mom and step dad in oct. of 1991. Their anniv. is 10 days before my wedding and it would mean a lot to them too to have Fr. LEo say our mass. :confused:
so hopefully he says yes. otherwise we are just doing vows. keep your fingers crossed.
09-16-2005, 01:44 AM
how awful! not fair at all! i think they should have told you this monthsssss ago. not cool. i would be so angry. i just told lucas and he said that is awful too! so sorry.
09-16-2005, 02:29 AM
it is awful. I scheduled my wedding oct. 16 so what ELEVEN months ago. NOW he decides he is UNAVAILABLE. the real kicker is that if it is because we live together (he has no prob with my out of wedlock child, but has a problem with living together before marriage, according to diocese it is up to the priest's discretion whether they want to perform a marriage).
anywho if it is for that reason. I know quite afew couples who live together who have gotten married by him. KNow why? THEY LIED. I tell the truth for fear of him finding out otherwise and backing out and he backs out anyway.
the diocese told me in october the reason is because the catholic church feels if you live together you rush into marriage. i got that guy to quiet down when i said if we rushing into it we woudl have gotten married 4 years ago BEFORE telling people we were pregnant, and would not have waited until 3 years after our daughter's birth before getting engaged!
makes no sense!
09-16-2005, 03:32 AM
OMG! This is horrible. I feel so bad for you. I'll keep my fingers crossed that he agrees to perform the ceremony. Got to love the Catholic Church!
09-16-2005, 12:26 PM
We had a similar problem and decided the Catholic church as such a hassel, not to mention expensive, to not go with them....we tried as my fiance is REALLY REALLY catholic but just did not work...we went with United instead....they have NO problems with anything.....don't know if you can use a United priest in a Catholic church but it is worth an ask if all else fails....good luck...
09-16-2005, 02:13 PM
i don't think that the catholic church will allow you to bring in an outside pastor (a priest from another catholic church, yes - but other religion - no).
have you checked to see if a deacon can marry you there? a friend of mine was married by a deacon bc the priest would not do an outdoor wedding bc it wasn't in the presence of God (not that that makes any sense at all!:confused: ). i guess God is only present inside a Catholic church according to that viewpoint. hmmm.... sounds wrong.:rolleyes:
since your invites have already gone out.... i would guess changing venues is out of the question. unless you overnighted or hurried since you have time, and sent out an updated letter noting the differences - they did it on who's wedding is it anyway?
09-16-2005, 03:39 PM
Does the church have an area on its grounds that you could use? Or right near by? Maybe use the same parking lot? But it sounds to me you need to change venues before it is too late.
09-16-2005, 11:31 PM
It is resolved. NO matter what I can use the church (paid for) BUT i want a full ceremony. which means the priest has to be there. the priset backed otu which left the deacon who would still do it, but could not do a full ceremony.
He asked teh priest i originally wanted and fr. leo said yes. he would be happy to. this is MY childhood priest.
IF fr. leo is ill or does not feel up with it, we will jsut do our vows/the shorter version (no mass).
09-17-2005, 03:15 PM
I'm glad it all got worked out for you. I think it would be more sentimental with Father Leo (I think u said) since he was your childhood priest and others in your family know him.
SO maybe the othr priest who backed out was just leading you to this more sentimental service!
09-17-2005, 04:10 PM
Yay! I'm so happy for you, Pam. Isn't it great when things work out the way you want?
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