Hand Fasting?

[Bianca]

Is anybody or has anybody seen or done hand fasting in their ceremony? I just found out about it and it seems like a really neat idea. Any pics or info?
Thanks! :)

[Kendra1449]

What is hand fasting?

[Jacoby2Seelen]

What is hand fasting?

I was wondering the same thing! :)

[Jacoby2Seelen]

Oh, I found this (http://www.wiccan-grove.com/groveall26.htm)! :)

Form the Magick Circle in the usual way. The High Priestess purifies everyone present or they purify themselves as they see fit. The couple perform the ritual of the Drawing Down of the Moon. They will have decided beforehand which Woman of the couple will play which part of the ritual. At the completion of the Drawing Down of the Moon, the couple gives each other the Five-fold Salute. The other Woman guests pretend that they are trees, rocks, and household objects; that they are ordinary everyday items. They are to remain frozen in place just like in the childhood game of "Freeze" where everyone stands frozen in place until someone touches them.

Together the couple go round the Circle giving life to the Woman-items around the room by embracing the item-Woman and then telling her how much they love each other. When they "find" a Woman, the Woman must tell the couple what it is in life that she is representing. They are to share as a group what the representation means to each of them. She is to then join as a member of the group that is following the couple around the room. The couple continues picking up objects and friends as part of their life together as a couple.

The couple must complete three circles of the room, so they should select every third Woman as they "find" them. When they have found everything-everyone they are to return to the Altar and face it, kneeling. Everyone else stands.

The High Priestess comes from behind, goes between, and then turns to face them. She then asks the couple to stand and face each other. She ties the right wrists together in front of them and then ties the left wrists together over the right wrists. The High Priestess uses two red ribbons, each about six feet or longer, one for each pair of wrists. She ties the wrists with the center of the ribbons leaving the ends hanging.

Then, taking up the left ribbons in her right hand and the right ribbons in her left hand, she raises the hands of the couple above their heads. She causes them to touch all points of their bodies to each other while standing toe to toe. They then repeat after the High Priestess the Oath of Handfasting that they will have created themselves before the wedding.

The High Priestess will tie the ribbons together in one knot at the end and then let go of it. The couple will remain standing with their arms in the air, palms touching, and tell each other what they want their love to know about themselves. They may tell each other how much one loves the other, or better yet the first thing that comes to mind. Do not have them prepare communications for this part of the ritual.

The High Priestess will purify the two Poppets that the couple made seven days before the Handfasting. Each partner will have made one in the likeness of the other partner and will have slept with the Poppet for the seven days preceding the Handfasting. They will not have been sleeping or having sex with one another for the seven days before the Handfasting. The High Priestess will give each Poppet the Five-fold Salute and then will name each its proper name. She will then give each Woman the Poppet that they have made, placing it in their right hand. They will breathe life into the Poppet by blowing on it. Then they say a prayer to indicate that they are giving birth to their love with the use of the doll. The couple then exchanges poppets with their left hands; giving them back themselves.

The High Priestess takes up the knotted red ribbon and leads them around the Circle three times, clockwise, still holding the Poppets and still bound. They return to face the Priestess and the Altar.

The youngest Woman gives the wreaths to the High Priestess. She consecrates them and places them on the couples' head. The youngest Woman, or anyone who is good with crafts, makes the wreaths from the flowers that the friends have brought to the Handfasting. She makes it before the Handfasting to have the most beautiful and sharing of all possible wreaths. The High Priestess says:

GROW AS THESE BLOSSOMS HAVE GROWN
BLOSSOM AS THEY HAVE BLOSSOMED.

The High Priestess places a broomstick in front of them saying:

STEP INTO LIFE TOGETHER

She then moves out of the way as they jump over it into a new life. They embrace and kiss strongly. The High Priestess takes up the broom. She sweeps the floor clean of all the flower petals that the youngest member has strewn on the floor just before the Handfasting began. She sweeps them outside of the area of the Circle from the center outward to sweep the life of the couple clean before they take another step.

Present the couple to the Goddess at the four Quarters of the room as a couple. Then present them to everyone present in turn in a clockwise direction. Clockwise is the way of growth. The youngest member unties the knots and gives each Woman a ribbon. Everyone must then leave the room, or if the friendships allow, they can stay, but the couple should then make love to each other in the Magick Circle.

When the couple has completed making love to one another they are to tie the red ribbon to the Poppets' left hand. Then they will bind the two Poppets together with the red ribbons and save them. If they ever wish to separate they must cut the red ribbons and burn the Poppets together and notify the High Priestess.

The Reception can start now. Bring out the cakes, the band and the party. Blessed Be.

[Kendra1449]

:confused: OK? Sounds to complicated for me. I'm not going to tell FDIL about this one!

[onecuteladybug]

Hi ladies,
I was just browsing through this category when I noticed that Jacoby2Seelen seems to have found what is considered a Wiccan type ceremony. Handfasting has been around for hundreds of years and began in Ireland or Scotland in a time period where marriage wasn't really done the way it is now. History has it that everyone would meet together for a big "party" every fall where they would meet up with friends and family after the harvest. At that time, couples who found one another interesting would ask to be bound together for a year and one day. Binding was simply a cloth or rope tied around their clasped hands to show that they had chosen one another. Couples would stay tied together for 24 hours before the binding was removed. After that year was over, they could choose to renew their vows because they wanted no other, or, they could move on to someone else, unless a child had been born or was to be born from their relationship. Then, they had to stay together. There are many websites out there with historical renditions of Handfasting.

In modern times, many "Pagan" religions choose to continue this practice for their wedding. Also, same sex partners might choose to have a handfasting to honor their commitment to one another. There are also a large number of people in Modern Times who celebrate their heritage by including a Handfasting in their ceremony.

Sorry this is so long, I just want you to understand that it doesn't have to as complicated as what was previously posted. It can be as simple as reciting your vows to one another and having your hands bound, or as elaborate as what was already posted.

My FH and I were handfasted as a symbol of our engagement in June of 2003. We researched it a lot and found out that the woman had to walk to the altar backwards surrounded by other women, the final woman sweeping the road behind her because she was leaving all that was her past away. Handfasting is also where the African American tradition of "Jumping the Broom" originated. I hope this helps some!

Interesting! Thanks for sharing!

[TwoMuffins1229]

ah, Handfasting <3 My fiancee and I are both Wiccan and we plan to have a small handfasting ceremony with a few like-minded friends as well as the big traditional wedding for family and friends (with a non-denominational minister). Some Pagans have their handfasting ceremony as their official ceremony with an officiant and everything, but many times (like ours) it will simply be for religious purposes and the public ceremony will the be "official" legal one.

In our ceremony, we will also do the traditional hand ceremony where our hands are tied with ribbon and at the end of the ceremony (after the kiss) we will jump over my broom.

If you are further interested or would like to read through the script for our handfasting then please let me know. I like helping anyone curious about what Wicca really is and isn't. :)

- Megan

[always143681]

that sound very interesting, never heard of it before though.

[Anamae]

I recently saw a book that can highlight ways to integrate an interfaith wedding where one is Pagan the other is Christian, Muslim, Jewish, etc....

Handfasting & Wedding Rituals ISBN # 0738704709 by Raven Kaldera, Tannin Schwarzstein.

I have a lot of pagan books, I find it very interesting but I found things very limited resourcewise for Pagan. I am not sure how good this is as I did not buy it (no wallet at the time). Lots of internet pages to learn about it though.

[TwoMuffins1229]

Handfasting & Wedding Rituals ISBN # 0738704709 by Raven Kaldera, Tannin Schwarzstein.

I think this is one of the best books out there on Handfasting.

If you want information about handfasting without buying the book check out http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/handfastings/ for examples of ways to handfast. Hope the links help! I think a hands ceremony is a beautiful symbol of joining two lives as one, no matter your religious affiliations. <3

[thecoze]

Hi hi-

We are using a handfasting ceremony in our wedding too. The cool thing is that the cords that are being used for our handfasting will be seperated. Each one of the witnesses and each of our mothers will get a piece of the cord. If we ever want to seperate, we have to go together to get all of the cords back from each of the people. If someone can't find their piece of cord, we have to help them find it together. Everything has to be done together. The person who is marrying us said that he's only had 1 couple that has ever tried to get all their cords back and then ended up getting back together during the process of trying to find their cords. I think it's unique. Our handfasting comes from the book Spiral Dance.

TTFN...
D.J.

[kookykrys]

We are using a handfasting, and looked at two different ceremony structures, and then made up one of our own. Basically, we're doing it "Pagan-Lite" so as to not freak out certain of our guests. Most won't bat an eyelash, luckily.

[TwoMuffins1229]

We are using a handfasting, and looked at two different ceremony structures, and then made up one of our own. Basically, we're doing it "Pagan-Lite" so as to not freak out certain of our guests. Most won't bat an eyelash, luckily.

LOL nice - "pagan-lite". Yeah that way you can still have all of the symbology without upsetting any guests, if any of them even get it. ^_^ I was thinking of including something similar myself but I don't think I can go that far - It's already killing my mom we're not having a Catholic priest officiate the ceremony (we're going non-denominational)! :P

[ISIDEJOSH]

Handfasting
Historical Handfasting
Historically, in late medieval and early modern Scotland (and northern England), "handfasting" was a the normal term used for "betrothal" — that is, for the ceremony of exchanging future consents to marriage and agreeing to marriage contracts. The origins of this usage are explained by Anton (90-2):

Among the people who came to inhabit Northumbria and the Lothians, as well as among other Germanic peoples, the nuptials were completed in two distinct phases. There was first the betrothal ceremony and later the giving-away of the wife to the husband. The betrothal ceremony was called the beweddung in Anglo-Saxon because in it the future husband gave weds or sureties to the woman's relatives, initially for payment to them of a suitable price for his bride but later for payment to her of suitable dower and morning-gift. The parties plighted their troth and the contract was sealed, like any other contract, by a hand-shake. This joining of hands was called a handfæstung in Anglo-Saxon, and the same word is found in different forms in the German, Swedish and Danish languages. In each it means a pledge by the giving of the hand. ....

The joining of the hands became a feature of betrothals in Scotland and in England during the medieval period. A Scottish protocol narrates that on 24 July 1556, the Vicar of Aberdour 'ministrat and execut the office anent the handfasting betwix Robert Lawder younger of the Bass and Jane Hepburn docter to Patrick Errl Botwell in thir vordis following: "I Robert Lawder tak thow Jane Hepburne to my spousit wyf as the law of the Haly Kirk schawis and thereto I plycht thow my trewht and syklyk I the said Jane Hepburne takis you Robert Lawder to my spousit husband as the law of the Haly Kirk schaws and therto I plycht to thow my trewth," and execut the residew of the said maner of handfasting conforme to the consuetud usit and wont in syk casis' What this 'consuetude' was may be gathered from a protocol on the sponsalia of David Boswell of Auchinleck and Janet Hamilton, daughter of the Earl of Arran. After the consents had been exchanged 'the curate with the consent of both parties with their hands joined betrothed the said David and Janet who took oath as is the custom of the Church'. In fact, the ceremony of joining hands became so closely associated with betrothals in medieval times that in Scotland, and apparently the north of England, the ordinary term for a betrothal was a handfasting. The use of the term in this sense persisted in Elgin as late as 1635.

"Protocol" here refers to a protocol book of a notary public — that is, the book that a notary public used to keep a record of all the documents he wrote. Also, in the quotes above "spousit" means "betrothed" (see the CSD s.v. "spouse"). (Compare to the English usage of "betrothed wife" to refer to one's betrothed future wife.)

The Dictionary of the Older Scottish Tongue (DOST) gives several examples that illustrate that handfasting in late medieval and early modern Scotland referred to betrothal (s.v. handfast):

"Gif..the said dispensacione cum nocht hayme within the said tyme..the said John the Grant is bundin..to caus thame be handfast and put togiddir..for mariage to be completit; 1520 Grant Chart 64. Ib. 65. Becaus..many within this toun ar handfast, as thai call it, and maid promeis of mariage a lang space bygane,.., and as yit vill nocht mary and coimpleit that honorable band,.., but lyis and continewis in manifest fornicatioun [etc.]; 1562 Aberd. Eccl. Rec. II.

Note that because handfasting involved an exchange of future tense consents to marry, if a couple was handfasted/betrothed, and then had sex on the basis of that handfasting/betrothal, they were then no longer handfasted/betrothed, but married — legally, bindingly, for life, married. But if they didn't have sex and didn't exchange present tense consents, then they weren't married. Handfasting/betrothal could result in marriage, whether by subsequent exchange of present tense consents or by subsequent sex, but it also could result in no marriage but only if there had been no sex at all. (So in the 1562 quote above, the betrothed couples who "continewis in manifest fornicatioun" are actually legally married, but the church leaders are insisting that they get married again, this time properly in church.)

Though the civil law remained essentially the same, the cultural customs surrounding marriage did change over the nearly four centuries between the Scottish Reformation and 1940. Of relevance to the issue of handfasting, in regularly formed marriages formal betrothal ceremonies (handfastings) faded away; it would appear that by the late 17th century, they were no longer practiced, or at the very least hand changed in nature and terminlogy such that they were no longer called "handfasting" (Leneman, c. 3).

It is also worth noting that the verb "handfast" and verbal noun "handfasting" in Scotland in the late 17th century were used to mean "to enter into an engagement of service" and "the joining of hands in engaging an employee", respectively (DOST, s.vv. handfast, handfasting).

Mythical Handfasting
Well after formal betrothals called "handfastings" had ceased to be actually practiced in Scotland, a curious myth arose in the late 18th century that "handfasting" referred a trial marriage of a year and a day after which the partners could either marry permanently or part freely and that this kind of "handfasting" had been practiced in former times but not currently.

A.E. Anton, in "'Handfasting' in Scotland", very thoroughly looked into the myth of handfasting being trial marriage and discovered that the myth that handfasting in Scotland was any kind of marriage rather than betrothal could not be traced any further back than the late 18th century, to Thomas Pennant in his Tour in Scotland (London, 1790) recounting his tour of 1772, where he writes, as related by Anton (100-1):

Pennant says: 'Among the various customs now obsolete the most curious was that of handfisting, in use about a century past. In the upper part of Eskdale ... there was an annual fair where multitudes of each sex repaired. The unmarried looked out for mates, made their engagements by joining hands, or by handfisting, went off in pairs, cohabited until the next annual return of the fair, appeared there again and then were at liberty to declare their approbation or dislike of each other. If each party continued constant, the handfisting was renewed for life....' Pennant attributed the custom to the fewness of the clergy there in Popish times but, as Chalmers points out in his Caledonia, Pennant 'who was not very studious of facts when he wanted embellishment ... did not know ... how many more clergymen existed under the old than under the new establishment'.

Further, Pennant seems unaware that a clergyman was completely unneccessary for legal marriage in Scotland before the Reformation (just as one was unneccessary after the Reformation).

This is the first association of "handfasting" with supposed trial marriages of a year and a day, and even it is described as being "now obsolete" and "in use about a century past" and only occuring in one small place in the border regions. Compare this second hand rumour about practices a century earlier (recorded by a man "who was not very studious of the facts when he wanted embellishment") to the facts that are known about historical handfasting and marriage in the Middle Ages and first part of the Early Modern period as discussed above. The known facts of handfasting and marriage are incompatible with Pennant's rumour. Yet it is to Pennant's rumour that all subsequent elaborations of the myth of handfasting as trial marriage can be traced.

The next reference to "handfasting" as trial marriage is in The [Old] Statistical Account of Scotland (1791-99), v. 12, pp. 614-5, in a section dealing with Eskdale in Dumfries, which follows closely Pennant's description:

... In mentioning remarkable things in this parish, it would be wrong to pass over in silence, that piece of ground at the meeting of the Black and White Esks, which was remarkable in former times for an annual fair that had been held there time out of mind, but which is now entirely laid aside. At that fair, it was the custom for the unmarried persons of both sexes to choose a companion, according to their liking, with whom they were to live till that time next year. This was called hand-fasting, or hand in fist. If they were pleased with each other at that time, then they continued together for life; if not, they separated, and were free to make another choice as at the first. The fruit of their connexion (if there were any) was always attached to the disaffected person. In later times, when this part of the country belonged to the Abbacy of Melrose, a priest, to whom they gave the name Book i' bosom (either because he carried in his bosom a bible, or perhaps, a register of the marriages), came from time to time to confirm the marriages. This place is only a small distance from the Roman encampment of Castle-o'er. May not the fair have been first instituted when the Romans resided there? and may not the "hand-fasting" have taken its rise from their manner of celebrating marriage, ex usu, by which, if a woman, with the consent of her parents or guardians, lived with a man for a year, without being absent for 3 nights, she became his wife? Perhaps, when Christianity was introduced, this form of marriage may have been looked upon as imperfect, without confirmation by a priest, and, therefore, one may have been sent from time to time for this purpose.

Regarding the fanciful speculation about connections to Roman law, Anton (101) notes "Unfortunately for this theory, usus was obsolete in Roman law by the time the Romans came to Scotland."

The Old Statistical Account apparently adds the detail of the children being "always attached to the disaffected person". But as with Tennant, this custom is described as "now entirely laid aside" and also associated with the Roman Catholic era of Scottish history.

Sir Walter Scott is the next to promote the idea that "handfasting" was a form of trial marriage. In his 1820 novel The Monastery, the character Avenel says (Anton, 89, quoting Scott, ch. 25):

'We Bordermen ... take our wives, like our horses, upon trial. When we are handfasted, as we term it, we are man and wife for a year and a day: that space gone by, each may choose another mate, or at their pleasure, may call the priest to marry them for life—and this we call handfasting.'

But The Monastery is a supernatural historical romance set in the mid-16th century, prior to the Scottish Reformation of 1560. (See The Walter Scott Digital Archive's synopsis of the plot.) So when Scott has his character talking about supposed "handfasting" as a trial marriage for a year and a day, he too is at most claiming it was something that happened long, long ago and making no claim that it was practiced in his own day. Like earlier sources for the myth, Scott had no personal knowledge of such a practice. Indeed, it is most likely he first read about it in Pennant's Tour in Scotland, and/or in The Old Statistical Account , and thought it would be a neat thing to include in his novel, along with ghosts and other fanciful things.

Later writers, both novelists and historians, take up the myth, some adding new elements to it. For example, the 19th century historian W. F. Skene, in The Highlanders of Scotland (1837), rather than having The Old Statistical Account's description of children born to a handfasted couple "always being attached to the disaffected person" if the couple parts unwed states that conception of a child automatically makes the marriage permanent. Anton (89) reports Skene's version as:

... if during the period of trial 'the lady became a mother, or proved to be with child, the marriage became good in law, even although no priest had performed the marriage ceremony in due form'. He adds that 'the highlanders themselves draw a very strong distinction between bastard sons and the sons of their handfast unions, whom they considered legitimate'.

Note also that Skene has moved "handfasting" as trial marriage from the Borders to the Highlands. John Cameron in Celtic Law (1937) expands on this, claiming "handfasting to be one of the few Celtic customs surviving in Scots law." (Anton, 89) Acceptance of this myth as historical fact has been widespread; it has been reported in academic works of history, anthropology, and legal history (Anton, 89). Decades after Anton's 1958 article was published, one can still find even some Scottish historians erroneously repeating the myth as factual (though to the best of my knowledge only among those who have not examined the evidence).

Neopagan Handfasting
So by the mid-to-late 20th century, the myth of "handfasting" as an ancient pagan Celtic practice of trial marriage for a year and a day after which, if there are no children, the couple may choose to part freely or else marry permanently, was a well established and well known idea. At this stage, in the late 20th century, or perhaps somewhat earlier, there was a new permutation. Followers of various Neopagan religions, believing the myth to be an actual pre-Christian practice, adopted the form of the myth into their own modern religious practices and ceremonies.

Over time, various Neopagan religious groups altered and added to the details. In some modern traditions the length of time became variable rather than a year and a day. In some the temporary union became renewable mulitple times rather than a one time choice of marry or part. Unaware of the true historical origins of the term "handfasting" (that is, as a term signifying a handshake), the word was reanalyzed and re-interpreted as signifying that a cord had been tied around the couple's hands or wrists as part of the ceremony, so this feature was incorporated into the modern ceremonies. At some stage, some groups began to use "handfasting" as a synonym for legal marriage rather than for religiously recognized but legally unrecognized temporary sexual unions. And in recent years, some groups, coming almost full circle, started to use "handfasting" to mean a formal engagement to be married in the future (though this may be simply a variation on the temporary sexual union that may lead to marriage theme).

I have not yet tracked down the earliest evidence for modern Neopagan handfasting, nor the earliest evidence for each alteration and addition to the new traditions. I would welcome references to published books or articles that contain such evidence, especially the first published work that refers to each Neopagan handfasting development. I would also be interested in first hand witness accounts from those who observed or participated in early Neopagan handfastings (from before at least 1983); oral history may prove more informative if published references occured significantly later the start of the practices.

Thus Neopagan handfastings, though very real and legitimate modern religious practices, are still quite different than historical handfasting as practiced in the late Middle Ages, which was Christian betrothal.

Summary
There are three distinct meanings, and three different eras, for "handfasting":

From the Middle Ages through the early 17th century, something contemporaries called "handfasting" was actually practiced. It was a formal betrothal to be married and occured in a Christian context.

From the late 18th century through the early 20th century, "handfasting" was mistakenly believed to be a kind of trial marriage for a year and a day. No contemporaries practiced it, rather, it was erroneously believed to have been practiced long ago in the past.

From the late 20th century, in addition to many people continuing to mistakenly believe that in the past "handfasting" was a kind of trial marriage for a year and a day, "handfasting" has been used by various Neopagans to refer to their own modern religious practices ranging from temporary unions to legal marriages.

[ISIDEJOSH]

http://www.ulc.org/catalog/images/Handfasting-Book-Large.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/ba/Paganavebury.jpg/300px-Paganavebury.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/ca/HandFastingKnot-1.jpg

[rhiannon0320]

FH and I are going to try and incorperate parts of the handfasting ritual into our cerimony without it being too obvious. I'm Pagan and he's...non-religious. My family doesn't exactly like the fact that I'm Pagan so it's going to be covert. Kookykrys said it best when she said "Pagan-Lite." ;)

[KellyNEric]

We are having a non-religious ceremony and will do the hand fasting in place of the "declaration of intent". Here is the text we will use. Most of it came from our officiant and part of it (the blessings of the 4 directions) came from a ceremony I found online. We have not completely finalized it yet, so there are some notes to our officiant (Audrey) in there among the text.

I was forced by my parents get marry in the Catholic church the first time. This time I am paying for the entire thing and will do it the way I want. It's *our* wedding and should reflect us.

Kelly


Know now before you go further, that since your lives have crossed in this life you have formed ties between each other. As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real the ideals which give meaning to both this ceremony and the institution of marriage.

With full awareness, know that within this circle you are not only declaring your intent to be handfasted before your friends and family, but you speak that intent also to your higher powers.

The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will cross the years and lives of each soul's growth.

Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?
Couple: Yes, we seek to enter.

<Audrey – I would like to add the text below.>
In times past it was believed that the human soul shared characteristics with all things divine. It is this belief which assigned virtues to the cardinal directions; East, South, West and North. It is in this tradition that a blessing is offered in support of this ceremony.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the East.
• Communication of the heart, mind, and body
• Fresh beginnings with the rising of each Sun
• The knowledge of the growth found in the sharing of silences.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the South.
• Warmth of hearth and home
• The heat of the heart's passion
• The light created by both to lighten the darkest of times

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the West.
• The deep commitments of the lake
• The swift excitement of the river
• The refreshing cleansing of the rain
• The all encompassing passion of the sea.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the North
• Firm foundation on which to build
• Fertility of the fields to enrich your lives
• A stable home to which you may always return

Each of these blessings from the four cardinal directions emphasizes those things which will help you build a happy and successful union. Yet they are only tools. Tools which you must use together in order to create what you seek in this union.

<end of inserted text>

Officiant Will you cause each other pain?
Couple We may
Officiant Is that your intent?
Couple No
Officiant Will you share each other's pain and seek to ease it?
Couple We Will

Officiant And so the binding is made
*the first cord is draped across the couples hands*

Officiant Will you share each other’s laughter?
Couple We will
Officiant Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?
Couple We Will

Officiant And so the binding is made
*the second cord is draped across the couple’s hands

Officiant Will you share each other’s dreams?
Couple We will
Officiant Will you dream together to create new realities and hopes?
Couple We Will

Officiant And so the binding is made
*the third cord is draped across the couples hands*

Officiant Will you honor each other?
Couple We will
Officiant Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor?
Couple We Will

Officiant And so the binding is made
*the fourth and final cord is draped over the couple’s hands*

Officiant *while tying the cords*
The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords but instead by your love. Holdfast to this love. Remember the promises you have made, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making of this union.

<Audrey, I think I prefer the wording below for this section instead of what you have provided (above). What do you think?>

The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords but instead by your vows to each other. Either of you may drop the cords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making or breaking of this union.

<Once cords are tied together they are removed and placed on altar>

[JoyLuann]

We are doing a lot of the Scottish traditions so we did the handfasting June 13th of this year (one year and a day) we used swatches from either of our clans and had my Scottish elder up the street bless the union - but most didn't understand the idea so we just did it for us in our backyard under the tree. I also had to wear a luckenbooth for a year before we did that - we will be doing the changing of the tartan and presentation of the family dagger as well - the only thing we are not doing is instead of wearing a kilt Paul is going to wear a sash of the clan LOL

[KellyNEric]

Oh, I'd give anything to get my man in a kilt! He's not Scots or Irish though and thinks it's silly. There are few things sexier than a handsome man in a kilt. ;)

Kelly

[JoyLuann]

Oh, I threatened to cut off one of Paul's favorite parts (;) ) if he didn't wear the kilt but alas, he informed me that if I did that I would suffer too (LMAO) so we came to the mutual decision of him wearing his clan sash instead (which will make the changing of the tartan look really cool). His Dad will probably wear his kilt tho' :)

[KellyNEric]

I've been digging around looking for more handfasting information and I found a few sites that might be of interest to others.

http://www.favorideas.com/wedding-themes/multicultural-themes/the-practical-side-of-the-handfasting-ceremony/

http://gaiashandfasting.com/

http://www.rosehavendesigns.com/handfasting.html

A couple of them sell handfasting cords, but in my opinion they are *drastically* overpriced. I plan to make basically the same thing myself and I'm sure it won't cost $80 - $90!

But I'm frugal. (Or is that cheap?) ;)

K

[maryjeff]

We will be incorporating handfasting in our ceremony. Basically we will just be tying our hands together and then reading our vows to each other whlie bound together. I thought it was a great way to symbolize the whole"tying the knot". We are having aspects of a Christian wedding as well as the handfasting.

[redwolf1009]

Getting married/handfasted next year and I just want to know if anyone can tell me exactly how long we are to be tied together

[allisonw1400]

This is very interesting. I've never heard of this before.

[KellyNEric]

It's really up to you. We were tied together just during the handfasting portion of the ceremony (which we did at the very beginning in place of the declaration of intent) and then the minister put the cords aside.

I have read of couples who stay bound throughout the entire wedding ceremony and others who ran off to consummate the marriage immediately (while still bound) then untied their hands and re-joined their guests. That would be a bit much for me though. ;)

Kelly
Married 11 days. :)


Getting married/handfasted next year and I just want to know if anyone can tell me exactly how long we are to be tied together

[rhiannon0320]

We did ours after the rings and just stayed tied for a little bit but left them cords on the alter before the recessional because of how we tied our hands (would have been very awkward to walk the way we did it).

[maryjeff]

We are just having our hands tied while we say our vows. The officiant will be taking it off but in the knot shape and will place it in a box to keep it in that shape.

[braybradshaw]

We are having a handfasting next week for our wedding, as I am a Pagan High Priestess, but we are combining traditional wedding and Pagan Handfasting if anyone want to check it out we have our whole ceremony up on our webpages. ..... http://braybradshaw.weddingannouncer.com/ctext-990357.html
For more information on what a handfasting is check out our faq page .... http://braybradshaw.weddingannouncer.com/faq.html for a brief run down