Mother in Law problems?

[FutureMrsLueke]

Is anyone else getting frustrated with their future Mother in Law. Our wedding isn't until next summer and I'm already about to hurt her.

It's not even about wedding stuff (well not too much lol), its about stupid things like her expecting my fiance to spend time with his family instead of me. Like come on, I'm gonna be is wife in a year.

Mind you this is the same women who introduced me as his very good friend after we'd been dating for 3 years!!!

I just need to vent a little I guess and to know I'm not the only one with these problems :eek: lol

[anschuier]

omg! you are totally not! i don't even want to get started on what all it involves, but you are not alone! :)

[Jacoby2Seelen]

I LOVE my MIL, we are so close!

It depends on if I understand where she is coming from or not, regarding the spending more time with the family than you. Reason being, when I first started dating Hubby, I was upset to hear that his mom expected Hubby to be at her house EVERY Christmas, and miss out on my family Christmas. It is STILL hard, but I have come to sorts with realizing that it is okay that she expects it. That is because she lives 1000+ miles away, and she gets to see Hubby maybe twice a year, if that. The one time that she does get to see him is Christmas, and she pays for the plane tickets for us to come there (she only pays for mine now that we are married).

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is, if they live far apart, and they only get to see each other a few times a year, then I can understand. If they live close, and she is expecting that, that is a whole different story!

I just hope that things work out for you. . .sometimes it is hard when new families come into your life and they aren't the most cooperative. I have learned to just get along with all of mine, because it makes my life AND hubby's life a lot easier.

On that note. . . I LOVE all my in-laws now. . .and couldn't be happier with the in-laws I got "stuck with." haha :)

[FutureMrsLueke]

No they live like 4 blocks away. And the Christmas thing is totally understandable. This is for stupid things like FH brother wanted him to go golfing last night on the spur of the moment. FH's back was sore and he said no, and of course this means that FH is horrible.
FH's brother also just had a new baby, FH isn't totally comfortable with him yet because he's still small. Also FH and I refuse to push ourselves on his Brother and sisInlaw because they're still adjusting and baby is colicky. So of course because we're not poking the baby and trying to wake him up like FMIL then he obviously doesnt' love his nephew.
It's just silly stuff. And mostly the spending time with his family comes down to going over there to do work for them.

[Jacoby2Seelen]

OH, okay. . . now that is DUMB!!! haha

I would say, just try your best to get along with her. . .that way it makes your life, as well as hubby's, easier! :) I know it is hard sometimes, but that is what I have learned these past few years. Even though she is just recently my MIL, and before was just "my boyfriend's mother." YA KNOW.

[Jacoby2Seelen]

I have also learned, from the beginning, that even if she is doing silly things like that, do not talk about her to hubby "badly". . .that just makes things worse too!!! :)

[FutureMrsLueke]

Actually he's the one that usually does the bad talking, you should have heard him last night lol.

[TwelveGrains]

DH's parents both passed away before we got together, so I didn't even get to meet them. I really wish I had, because Rick was very close to his dad. :(

I hope it all works out--maybe as you get closer it will be easier. You guys sound like the Barone's from Everybody Loves Raymond. I don't mean that in a bad way (I LOVE that show!), I'm just hoping to make you smile... :D

[FutureMrsLueke]

OMG we totally do! That's insane. Fortunately Jon isnt as bad as Raymond with putting his foot in his mouth


lmao

[crannberryjenn]

Is anyone else getting frustrated with their future Mother in Law. Our wedding isn't until next summer and I'm already about to hurt her.

It's not even about wedding stuff (well not too much lol), its about stupid things like her expecting my fiance to spend time with his family instead of me. Like come on, I'm gonna be is wife in a year.

Mind you this is the same women who introduced me as his very good friend after we'd been dating for 3 years!!!

I just need to vent a little I guess and to know I'm not the only one with these problems :eek: lol
I understand how you are feeling. My FMIL and FFIL try and control my FH. It drives me crazy. I really do feel like bunching them out sometimes.

[crannberryjenn]

okay most of the time

[Wendi723]

YOU HAVE NO IDEA

They say you marry the man and not his family

WRONG

the family becomes your family
the difficult thing is that if someone in your family ie mom or dad make you mad, you tell them, maybe yell at them, but bottom line is you let them know that they are pissing you off

you cant do that with the grooms family....they are supposed to be family, but how come you cant treat them the way you would treat your own family....i feel like i walk on eggshells around my FMIL

[hopskiw]

I've had lots of little non-wedding related probs like when FH and I were on the road in the semi she came over and cleaned my whole house! Ya, would be ok if FH and I weren't a young and experimental couple with lots of "inappropriate" things around the house lol! They're a verrrry old fashioned couple - like, they didn't know how to use a push button phone . . yep all they've ever had was a rotary and they're not even that old! The only wedding thing was when she was talking about FH's bro's wedding and she was dissappointed they weren't getting married in a church and then said to me "Well, I understand why you guys can't get married in a church . . ." OMG!!! How rude was that?!?!? Yes, we have a beautiful 8 week old son (see my avatar!) who I'm incredibly happy about having never mind if it was before we got married or not! We are both very non-religious and so I almost blurted out that I'm not baptized anyway, but FH told me to never tell them that. Oh well. And I forgot . . . she is ticked that we r having our wedding at our place at our beautiful acreage even though every single person who comes here says it's sooo beautiful.Pic's too big, but check out site!
http://hopskiw.weddingannouncer.com/weddingevents.html

[abeerling]

well...i feel your pain!
my fih is completely socially inept...wether it be on purpose or she is completely unaware im not sure.
she knows me pretty well...so i thought. she was complaining about having a garden ceremony saying it was too hot, especially for fh's grandparents, and then proceded to say "i'm sure its the same in amanda's case" - now she knows full well that my grandparents ALL passed away when i was very young all from cancer that took them away very quickly, and she knows that this continues to give me a lot of pain...why would she say this? who knows!?!?
that's just one example. fh and i have taken to hiding our wedding plans from her, as she started to add friends from her church that we dont know to our guest list...hmmm.

[menrrn]

Forget my inlaws my poor fh has to put up with my family we won't even go there.

[sfagal2005]

I was just thinking the same thing...Chad has my family to deal with!! Not that they don't like him, but they are very southern and to an "outsider" can be annoying and embarrassing!! I love Chad's mom and her parents, his sister, and I get along w/(have no problems with) his brother and his g/f. Chad's dad, new wife, and his mother on the otherhand are a different story...

[shawnswoman]

I am lucky: my FMIL has been completely hands-off so far. That may change when she & FFIL come down to live in the same city for the winter. . . but I doubt it. She has mentioned before that she doesn't want to be a "Marie" (you know, the MIL on Everybody Loves Raymond).

Plus, my FMIL has a daughter, so she's not looking for me to fill that role. :)

[futts5]

Is anyone else getting frustrated with their future Mother in Law. Our wedding isn't until next summer and I'm already about to hurt her.

It's not even about wedding stuff (well not too much lol), its about stupid things like her expecting my fiance to spend time with his family instead of me. Like come on, I'm gonna be is wife in a year.

Mind you this is the same women who introduced me as his very good friend after we'd been dating for 3 years!!!

I just need to vent a little I guess and to know I'm not the only one with these problems :eek: lol


It's ok to vent. The only thing I have to say is be patient with her. Yes, you are going to be his wife, but he is still her son. I don't get along well with my FH's family, but his mom passed away in January -- an unexpected death at only 45 years old. She wasn't the nicest lady, but I still have to value her for raising a wonderful wonderful man. She will be missed dearly on his behalf at our wedding. :( So even though she's bothering you, just smile and remember she created a beautiful man for you to have and to hold forever!

[RogueZ24]

Put it this way his mother in law dont know we are engaged yet and im afraid to tell her.
she was a young single mother who got taken for a ride by her ex and the fact that Dan was married before and she cheated and took all he had, with it all i think shes just being protective of her son cause he's been hurt but still i could live without ......:eek: THE LOOK :eek:

iv been warned by his brother and his wife that ill be getting :eek: THE LOOK :eek:

[futts5]

:eek: THE LOOK :eek:

Ha ha that cracked me up!!! :)

My FH mom was like that too. Thought because he made good money, that I was using him for it because we moved in together really soon. Never once bothered to think that I have my own career and was finishing up college. His dad is now just a living nightmare .. now only do I get :eek: THE LOOK :eek: from him all the time, but he gives me :eek: THE LOOK :eek: and wont say ANYTHING .. not even HELLO! PIG!!!!!!!!!:mad:

[abbygirly]

boo my fmil is a bitch. i hate her oh well.. she can kiss my @$$ lol fh knows i don't like her. shes too nosey. tryin to tell me how o raise my daughter... piss off! :P

[phoebe]

same here, I hate mine. We already moved to the opposite side of town to avoid here, and thinking of moving out of province in a few years, hopefully she won't follow...

[Queeneth]

you don't need to hate her. you could win her over gently and subtly!!! just be yourself and don't hate her!!!

[kobfield2007]

I hear and feel the pain about the in-laws. John's mother in particular is the biggest wench (haven't used that word in awhile). But read my journal (http://www.weddingannouncer.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7067) (way too much to write here) and you'll see what I mean. We're coming close to not inviting them to the wedding at all, but I said I will have no say in that desicion b/c I don't want it to come back to me. I adore his one sister (he has 3 sis's and 2 bro's), she's in the wedding, His twin bro, I'd like to hurt him indefinately (yes there's anger classes for that I know :)). His grandma (his mom's MIL) is the sweetest thing. But his parents are a real pain. They are telling us where and how to spend OUR money for the wedding and haven't even offered to help. Then when we tell them stuff about the wedding they get p/o b/c we're not doing it the way they did (in the tiny @ss backyard with 10 people there). They've even gone as far as to tell ME who I can and cannot invite from MY family!! She said I shouldn't invite any out of town family, umm my entire family is out of town, hell my BM is my little cousin and she's in OH! I could go on. He's told me though if they keep this up, he's no talking to them once he moves out (yes we still live with our parents for money reasons, for the time being).

It's sick though b/c my mom loves him. She hates his mom and hasn't even met the woman yet. He even said when the time comes my mom can move in with us, scary thought!!

I would like to recommend a website to anyone with MIL problems. It's Mother In Law Stories (http://www.motherinlawstories.com). The people on this forum are great and they give great advice.

Good luck to everyone and their in law problems!