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View Full Version : Anybody for a drink?...NO!!


Gords1babygirl
05-31-2006, 08:38 PM
ok...we realize that the "norm" for weddings to to have booze at the reception, something that if I were attending somebody else's wedding I would be able to avoid politely and leave it at that, since I've never been a drinker. My FH (now) would also be able to do the same...however this has not always been the case.

My FH I'm proud to say has been in recovery for 5 years without a slip. As such our decision when we first started planning our wedding was to have a "dry" event. As far as either of us are concerned why should he be "required" to pay for everyone else to get sh*tfaced on HIS day?? My family admittedly were a little suprised that it was going to be an alcohol free event, but when explained the FH is "in recovery" (something for the record I really don't think should have had to be explained to anyone) they have absolutely no problem with it.

Additionally we're opting for a very kid friendly event, and personally I really don't feel that "kid friendly" and "excessive free flowing booze" go together.

FH's family on the other hand has come up with the brilliant decision that they're still going to drink, but they're going to BYOB and keep it in their cars and go out for a nip now and then, all the while trying HARD to make FH feel guilty for the decision to have a dry event, trying to pressure him into spending the extra for a bartender, corkage fees and booze (we would have to supply the booze for the bar rather than just have the venue operate a cash bar). These people have seen him living out of his truck because of his drinking (I didn't know him at that point) It boggles my effin mind how some people are!!! I've lost one hell of a lot of respect for my FIL's over this, to the point I'm steps away from saying that perhaps anyone that can't respect that FH's turned his life around and has chosen sobriety, maybe shouldn't be at the wedding. (I never would though, it would hurt him for his family not to be there, and there's not a thing in the world I could do to hurt this guy)

Just needed to vent (already let off steam beating up a pillow while the kids slept)

This so far is my only real wedding stress...I went into the planning deciding that there is nothing THAT important to turn Bridezilla over...however I think I may have found one.

anschuier
05-31-2006, 08:54 PM
wow! sorry to hear all that stress. one of my friends got married, and they had a dry reception for relgious reasons, and they didn't dance- so we went bowling! we had a totally good time !

I can't believe his family would make him feel guilty- I would think they would encourage his sobriety! :?

Jacoby2Seelen
05-31-2006, 08:56 PM
Yeah really. . .you would THINK they would encourage it.

That just sucks!

In all reality though. . .be prepared for people to eat and leave with a "dry" reception. My parents have been to one before, and that is exactly what happened. There are people that use a wedding as an evening out without the kids, and most times want to "let loose." So that is just how it happens.

As long as you guys are having fun though, let 'em be!

Gords1babygirl
05-31-2006, 09:05 PM
well it's in the invites that this is a "kid friendly" event...so those who are looking to get out without their kids will end up celebrating with a whole buch of other ones!! LOL

As for eat and leaves, we're not really expecting there to be that many of them since the only ones objecting are planning of bringing their own booze and standing out in the parking lot to get sh*tfaced *sigh*

This whole hoopla just really saddens me, can't understand a family not standing by one of their own.

TwelveGrains
05-31-2006, 10:49 PM
I'm so sorry to hear that! I know how difficult families can be, especially when they should be happy, in your case for FH's sobriety and your wedding. I sincerely hope it all works out.

bubah21
06-01-2006, 12:39 AM
You ROCK! I think it's awesome that you are planning a dry wedding. I can see where people can get funny, but that is a HUGE accomplishment for your fiance and one that should be celebrated (sober). Yes, drinking does relax people more and it's fun, but you two will prove that you can have fun without being buzzed.
Congrats to him and congrats to you for being so supportive of him. Horrible of his family especially to mock him, but to each his own. You don't owe anyone an explaination. I would do the same if in your boat and I totally respect anyone who can stand strong on something like that. I think his family/whoever are forgetting just who's day this is!!! It's YOUR day! You plan and do as YOU want. :)

MrsWarren2B
06-11-2006, 11:04 PM
Yeah that's right!! I am also having a dry wedding because I have many friends and relatives who don't drink because of age, religious, or a variety of other reasons. Also, it's expensive!!! So FH and I decided to go dry rather than paying for booze for forty people who don't drink. I agree that it's YOUR day and don't let anyone spoil it for you.

crannberryjenn
06-12-2006, 03:48 PM
I'm really sorry to hear about your FH family. But just remember it's YOUR day. Not theres. If you guys want to have a "dry" wedding then by all means do it. If his family start again by saying this and that about having booze there tell them remember when my FH was having this problems? Do you want that again. Or let them b*****. You cant please everyone.

Have fun. if your wedding day :)

Good luck!

crystal78
06-19-2006, 03:25 AM
I had a situation similiar to your's. The other day, someone ask me will we have drinks and dancing. I said no drinks, and there will be no dancing, because the reception area is not that big. They pretty much said well that is not going to be any fun, not caring that this stuff hurts my feelings. My FH and I are not drinkers, and I have never once been to a wedding where anyone is dancing, dancing would be great, but hate that people make me feel bad that I will not have it at my wedding.