Catholic mass question

[Cristina]

Hi everyone,

We are having a Catholic mass for our wedding ceremony. Does anyone know if we need to purchase candles for this mass? Or does the church supply them? Is there a candle ceremony at all? We last attended a Catholic mass about 4 years ago, and I don't remember.

:) :) Thanks! :) :) :)

[sarahbella636]

Usually the church will supply the unity candle, if they have that tradition at the church. I'd imagine it would be a standard big white candle. The lighting of the unity candle is optional during the Catholic Mass but if you do have it, it happens at the end of the Rite of Marriage or before and during the final blessing. Usually the couple goes up to the altar and lights the candle together:

Here's what it is like (from a random picture I found online... :) )
http://www.laketahoeweddingsandevents.com/photos/Clifton6a.jpg

You can buy your own candle if you want, the ones I've seen in catalogs are really pretty. Maybe check with your priest during your Pre-Cana to see what the church usually does.

[Chi06Wed]

our church doesn't supply unity candles, so I'd check. they said that since so many people want their own, they don't bother getting them.

[baconsmom]

Hi everyone,

We are having a Catholic mass for our wedding ceremony. Does anyone know if we need to purchase candles for this mass? Or does the church supply them? Is there a candle ceremony at all? We last attended a Catholic mass about 4 years ago, and I don't remember.

:) :) Thanks! :) :) :)

To answer your question, most Catholic churches discourage a unity candle ceremony. You can have it if you want, but it really isn't necessary.

I really have to ask, though, as a practicing Catholic, why would you have a full Mass if you don't go to Mass regularly?

I dearly wanted to have a Mass, but I can't because my fiance isn't a baptised Christian. We'll still be married in the Church and all, but I can't imagine having a full Mass if it didn't mean enough to me to go to Church every Sunday.

I don't want to insult you, but it seems as if you aren't that devout, and I would think that you might not want to just have the Mass because it's "traditional" or "pretty" or "your parents want it" - it's insulting to those of us who take the Mass extremely seriously.

[Jacoby2Seelen]

I don't want to insult you, but it seems as if you aren't that devout, and I would think that you might not want to just have the Mass because it's "traditional" or "pretty" or "your parents want it" - it's insulting to those of us who take the Mass extremely seriously.

Just to stand behind Christina, and not meaning to get on the God subject, but some people don't think it is necessary to attend church once a week to communicate or "be with" God. Just because you aren't there in the church listening to the priest speak, doesn't mean that you don't believe or that you aren't devoting time to Him. There are other ways to do that. Praying at home, reading the bible, etc.

So, just because you aren't doing it for an hour a week at a certain location, doesn't mean that you aren't devoting your time to Him!!!!!!!!!!!

[Cristina]

Hi Baconsmom,

I should have clarified my statement. I haven't been to a Catholic mass WEDDING in that amount of time. I've been to mass between then and now. And I think that the Unity Candle ceremony is a regional thing - my church says we can do what we want when it comes to that (just give them notice). So, I will be buying my own candle set.

Whether you meant to insult me or not, questioning my faith in the church is indeed insulting to me. Please don't tell me what you think I should or shouldn't have just because you consider yourself to be a more devout Catholic than I. You don't know me, and don't know what I take seriously and what I don't. My original posting was not about whether or not I should have a mass, only about the candles. If you don't think a Unity candle ceremony is necessary, then that's fine. However, I may deem it "necessary" and that is for no one else except FH and I, and you shouldn't tell anyone else that unless that is the question they were asking.

It does mean a lot to our parents if we have a Catholic Mass ceremony, and I would do it for them, even if I wasn't too crazy about it because I honor my Father and my Mother (and FILs as well :)). I worship in my own way. I had quite a few bad experiences with priests, nuns, and churches in general, but I want to continue my sacrements through the Church.

One of our sacred tenants is not to judge thy neighbor. So, please don't judge me based on your limited knowledge of me, or my postings.

Cristina

[baconsmom]

I wasn't trying to judge you, and I thought I said as much in my post. I guess I've just had really bad experiences with people who have no real religion and don't care about God (not you) deciding to do things that I consider sacred, but they don't, and them not understanding why some people might be upset about it.

And as to the unity candle, I just told you what I've been told by my bishop: that the Vatican discourages it, generally, but no one's going to tell you you can't have it.

I really, truly, didn't mean to upset you, and I'm sorry that I did. :( Honestly. Like I said, I've just run into some people who treated our religion like it was a joke or just something to be "put on" at certain times, like a costume.

I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful, however it unfolds. Please accept my apologies for any insult I may have caused you.

[Chi06Wed]

Just to stand behind Christina, and not meaning to get on the God subject, but some people don't think it is necessary to attend church once a week to communicate or "be with" God. Just because you aren't there in the church listening to the priest speak, doesn't mean that you don't believe or that you aren't devoting time to Him. There are other ways to do that. Praying at home, reading the bible, etc.

So, just because you aren't doing it for an hour a week at a certain location, doesn't mean that you aren't devoting your time to Him!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to agree with trisha.

BACONSMOM
I'm catholic and haven't been to a church since my sisters wedding 2 years ago. do i pray- yes. here is the thing i believe- GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US- right? so if that is the case, why do I need to go to a building once a week to pray, if I can do it anytime I feel like it???

now we have opted not to do the full mass, because about half of the people aren't catholic and we don't want them to be uncomfortable, and we are also on a very tight time frame.

as for the unity candle, i have not heard of any church that discourages it, so i don't know where you are from. but as for every church i've heard of or been too, it is an optional part of the wedding. not because they don't wnat you to do it, but because it is a newer tradition and most people aren't familiarized with it.

[baconsmom]

Please see my previous post: I apologsied and explained where I was coming from.

As to unity candles, I'm in Phoenix, AZ, and go to the Cathedral church. The Bishop told us in our first marriage-prep seminar that unity candle ceremonies distract from the main ceremony of marriage, and for that reason are discouraged, but they aren't banned, so you can have them if your heart's set on it. That's all I know.