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View Full Version : I thought we were staying...


TwelveGrains
10-05-2005, 10:20 PM
Sorry, this is going to be really long... :(

I found out yesterday morning that FH was practically offered a job with a contracting company that moves from job-site to job-site, literally. The contractors are here in Bandon working on a job at the mill that Rick works at, but as soon as they're done here, they're heading up to Washington state for 2-3 months and then they're going down to southern California for about a year.

Now that we've been in Bandon for a while, I have fallen in love with this sleepy little town, and I love being on the coast, and I finally have a job that I love. The thought of leaving all of this to be constantly on the move just isn't appealing right now. We've talked about touring the country when we retire, but I want to be settled down for a few years first! I want to make some friends and have our wedding in our "home town". If we're always on the move, where are we going to have our wedding? How will out of town guests make plans if they don't know where we're going to be?

To top it off, I told my aunt/MOH that Rick is seriously thinking about taking this job, and she suggested that he might be running from something since it seems like he's always moving. Up until she suggested that, I just thought we were trying to find the right place to settle down, but since we've been together (and for about a year before we were together), he's only been in one place for 2-3 months at a time, so now I'm questioning Rick, which makes me feel like crap.

What do I do? :confused: I can't tell him not to take the job, because I don't want him to be unhappy at the job he has now and I want him to be successful and follow what he thinks is the best path for him. When it comes down to it, I'll follow him where ever he goes, but he has to know that I don't want to move again, right? HELP!!!

shoehurl
10-05-2005, 11:31 PM
I can see where you're coming from. It's hard to move...especially when you've come to enjoy the sleepy town you're in. I would sit down and talk to FH and see if you can figure out if he is actually running/hiding from something. But most of all you need to be 100% honest with him and tell him how you're feeling about this. To be perfectly honest my FH has been offered jobs all across the states, but I won't move 'cuz of my family and our daughter. Besides, it's a big move from Niagara Falls Canada to Texas or California. Too far for me to be away from my family, friends and the job I love.

I think you should sit down, be completely honest with your FH and see where that takes you...maybe he'll see your point of view and be willing to settle in your sleepy little town to start and raise a family. Keep us updated...I'd love to hear how things work out

mistylark
10-06-2005, 12:46 AM
This sounds familiar. Recently, FH was offered a promotion, if we moved over 200 miles away in 2 weeks. Planning a wedding and moving away not good, esp. since our families don't even live here now.

I say you should be honest about not wanting to move, esp. repeatedly. You should also tell him you would do it for him if it is what he wants; but be clear that it is not what you want.

This is one important discussion you should have. You do not want a rift between you before you get married.

TwelveGrains
10-10-2005, 06:57 PM
Just a quick update...

Rick and I talked over the weekend, and while he hasn't decided yet whether or not he's going to take the job, I do feel a little better about the situation. :) I still don't want to move, but I know now that he's not running from anything, and he's being very careful about making this decision. I'll reply again when I know what we're doing...

Chi06Wed
10-10-2005, 08:07 PM
well, good luck and know that since you are in love that no matter what happens at least you will have eachother. that's the most important part!