Gals i need help.... am in troble

[ISIDEJOSH]

Josh and i had a really big fight over the guest list the hall we booked can only hold 130 and when are at 144 with children and josh has more people he wants to invite and am stuck cause my older sister is run around inviting all of her friends and so is my other and more and more of my firends are geting cut from this list. which in a way i feel is really not fair now. josh steps in and is doing the same shit. I have people at this wedding i really feel don't give a fall poop in space about me the are only there for the free food and no becasue of me and josh. how do i tell my mother and i don't want this people here not to say that one this people at if don't invite them will show up anyways cause the are rude like that have done it in the pass to a other friend of mine. am really stuck girls.. i want to cry am so stressed on top josh is all like lets find a other hall and guess what the are all booked.. he thinks its so easy which he has not done anything. am so upset on top of all this josh wants to spend 1200 on five cruse to mexico cause i wants a blacony which like a extra like 200 per person which i think is really dumb. girl am so stressed.. i feel very thing is fall apart around. also my mom doesn't want me to have limo (waste of money in her book) also ( no veido) and no flowers. what the hell what type of wedding do this people want. help help help..

[sharpete]

You poor thing!! That is not right that other people are inviting their friends to the wedding. Maybe send out a group email to everyone who is inviting people saying something like:

Whilst we appreciate that it would be lovely to have everyone we know at our wedding our venue can only allow for a certain number. Josh and I will be writing up a guest list of who we want to invite. If you have suggestions for this please let us know but we can not guarantee everyone will fit. Please do not take it upon yourselves to invite guests without checking first as we may not be able to accomodate them.

And remember its your wedding, if you want a limo go for it!

[ISIDEJOSH]

thank you !!!

[skeewee1996]

Heck ya girl. That email is much nicer than I would have put it anyhow. And how is your sister inviting folks???? I know how you feel about them not doing anything and think you can just up and make changes. They don't know the amount of work and stress that goes into it. They just pretty much show up and all is nice and done and people say "oh it turned out so wonderful...and he is like thanks". FOR WHAT..WTH did you do to make it turn out so wonderful????!!! Sorry..personal vent. Where was I? Oh yeah, your problem-NO MORE PEOPLE INVITED. You all should not have to change your place to accommodate people whom you could care less about being there. Cut those folks out and you could afford a limo, flowers and videographer (WHO THE HECK DOESN'T WANT FLOWERS AT A WEDDING???). Do it your way and don't let it stress you out. Tell all those involved that you and your FH will call the shots. And prior to that talk...have a talk with your FH and tell him YOU WILL CALL ALL THE SHOTS!!! HEHEHEHE:-)

[SoonToBeWed]

First off, tell everyone to stop inviting people. Let them know the only people that are invited are those that you are giving invitations for. Also I would advise them that if they invite any more people without consulting you first, they will be paying you for them to be there. I would also explain to them that the facility will only hold 130 people and that if you go over that you could all get kicked out. Some people don't always grasp the courtesy concept as well as there are fire code laws, that is why there can't be 144 people or more there.

[kandiekat]

Lol well I agree with the other girls, but I'd cheat a little too..
I'd make "tickets" for it if you think it'll continue. No ticket, no entry. Make it sound fun, buy putting something like "this ticket is an entry into our wedding door prize!" and have a little prize for the person that wins. That way people get the hint, but you don't have to feel horrible. People will get it, no ticket means no invite.
Obviously you want to avoid this situation, but basically it means that your sister will realise that you mean business! lol

[helenandjon]

Hun you can't please everyone, its your big special day and you can have what you want and who you want!!!!!
I mean we have only 2 bridesmaids yet there are 4 girls in all, thats bound to have had a comment because 2 aren't doing anything but its what I want !!!!! Don't worry about upsetting anyone though, they'll get over it, lol tough if they don't he he !!!!!

[clorigroh]

I agree with everyone. There is no way your sister and others should be inviting people unless she is paying for everything, which I doubt. Think of it this way, if she is inviting people that you don't actually invite, she has to be the one to break it to them that they weren't supposed to be invited.

[maeberha]

i agree too. first off you need to tell your sister to stop inviting her friends. It's your wedding - you pick who is invitied.

I would also break your guest list into a A and B list. Once those people from the A-list start declining RSPV, you can start inviting B-list people.

[futts5]

#1 -- people are officially invited until they get the invitation.
Nicely tell your mom that the facility only "intimatly" allows for 130 guests and you can budget about 10% over that number. So 145 is your magic number. Tell your mom that you will put together 2 lists for her. Your "A" list which includes all of the PRIMARY most intimate guests. And those invitations will go out first (10 weeks prior). Then you will put together a "B" list of guests who are also important, but only get invited if people from list "A" aren't able to attend.

#2 -- I can not tell you HOW important video is. Even if you don't hire a vidographer and just buy yourself a nice video camera and appoint someone to be the "taper". Do you know how special it would have been if I could have seen my grandfather and grandmother say their vows to each other. Plus, with video, you can come back from your honeymoon and watch it to see things happen you never got a chance to see because you were sooo busy that day!!

#3 -- Some times you have to take peoples opinions with a grain of salt and brush them off your shoulder. If someone else is paying, it always makes it difficult, but if you are paying, you do what you want to best accomodate people, but in the end its what YOU want.

#4 -- Deep breath!! you still have plenty of time ahead of you (that will go fast). Things change all the time and people see the light differently each day. So one thing your mother may not want today, she may understand tomorrow.

[ISIDEJOSH]

Thank you all for all the advice!!!

[helenandjon]

Your welcome hun!!!