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Old 01-13-2011, 12:44 AM
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u143ab u143ab is offline
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Delaying parents and in-laws from visiting?

Has anyone wanted to or had to delay their parents and in-laws from visiting when the baby's due and/or born? And how did you break the news to them?

Hubby and I live without any family around so they have to plan to visit and this is our first baby, so (since he gets paternity leave) we'd prefer to have at least a week (or two) to ourselves when the baby is born to "adjust" and "bond". We don't think our families will take this decision very well...

Any suggestions?
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  #2  
Old 01-13-2011, 01:17 PM
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I actually told everyone, family & friends that I didn't want to see anyone except my husband for the first 24 hrs after having my daughter. I told everyone before I went into the hospital.

Just let everyone know you want the bonding time for the three of you and would rather wait until a later date to have everyone come in.

I understand your concerns, it can get crazy plus you never know when someone may be sick and doesn't think about the possability of passing a cold etc to a baby with a weak immune system.
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Old 01-14-2011, 01:12 AM
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Thanks for the input! Glad we're not the only ones, but I guess we just have to own-up and do it. We're not looking forward to telling them... :P
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  #4  
Old 02-08-2011, 02:24 PM
brisar112406 brisar112406 is offline
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No one was at the hospital when our duo was born...and I honestly wish there had been. Our birth plan came NO WHERE near fruition. When we brought our duo home, we had the first night to ourselves...and thank goodness my grandmother arrived the next day.

Here's the thing about bonding and adjusting...you have MANY, MANY, MANY, MANY years to do that. When they are first born, it is special, and it's nice to have alone time with them, but having the help is REALLY nice...espcially if you are breastfeeding. You are going to get very limited amounts of sleep...I'm talking 1-1.5 hour naps. The dishes will pile up and you'll find yourself not wanting to cook/clean/do laundry because not only will you want sleep, you'll want to just hold the baby.

So if someone wants to come visit for a week...I'd let them. Have them stay at a hotel, and just come by during the day. That way you can get some nap time, knowing that someone is watching over the baby. But don't completely shut people out.

I'm actually bonding a lot more with my babies now that they are 5 months old. Trust me, they know who mommy and daddy are. Visitors come and go...mommy and daddy are ALWAYS there.
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Old 02-08-2011, 08:02 PM
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I agree with the previous post too. I wanted people there after our first was born. He ended up having a 2 week NICU stay so while they could not all visit, immediate family could and I needed them for support.

To tell people before the baby is born to stay away is tricky. You never know what the circumstances will be and you might change your mind. That is my $0.02
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Old 03-16-2011, 01:37 AM
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I understand - all points well taken. By bonding, I really meant the 3 of us together and just to adjust being parents - partly because my husband will have odd shift work after his leave. My dad is actually going to be here right away; which is nice because he's very low-key (my mom is not and one of the reasons for this thread...lol). Everyone else is going to follow, probably my brothers, then my in-laws and my mom has decided to be a late visit actually; which was surprising that 1) she decided that on her own and 2) a little disappointing that she's going to be SO late (like 3 months almost). All-in-all it's working out nicely that they are staggering their visits because the main concern was everyone visiting all at once when we just moved here and became parents all in one months time...so it's good. We're happy with how it's working out especially since she may be a late one anyway. She's due on Sat, so we'll see...

Thanks for all the input though...it's good to get different views on what you think you want, but may not always be a good idea.
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  #7  
Old 03-16-2011, 01:40 PM
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Good luck and enjoy. Congrats
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  #8  
Old 03-17-2011, 03:23 AM
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Thank you! You, too...looks like you have a new li'l one also!
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AJ & Brittny


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http://ajandbrit.weddingannouncer.com
  #9  
Old 03-17-2011, 01:24 PM
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Not quiet new. She just turned 15 months.
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