Stressed out...YES!

[PamelaLynne]

Okay, here is our problem. Jeremy has always been a fighter kind of person. When I met him, he was really skinny because he was cutting weight for a wrestling match. Recently, he has gotten into the mma (Mixed Martial Arts) which I think okay. However he is doing nothing but talking, thinking and doing the MMA. We go to kickboxing classes on tuesdays and thursdays at 5:00pm and don't come home until 10:00pm (and nathan is coming with us also which is screwing up his routine) I go because I don't get to see him anymore since he just got promoted as a manager. Here is where it comes in.

If we talk about the wedding, he doesn't say anything or gives me his thoughts on stuff and then he changes the conversation to fighting!!! Its getting on my nerves. Here is the part that is really pissing me off though...When we talk about Nathan our son who is 7 months old, he swiches the conversation over to fighting, and he never see's him anymore because at 5:00pm on tuesdays and thursdays, he teaches the little kids and in the morings he goes to work until 7:00pm!!!

He has a fight coming up in April and he swears that he won't talk about it anymore about it after the fight...but he is the kind of person who brags about everything he does! I am planning everything by my self and then he askes me why doesn't he know anything about the wedding! What should I do...I tried to talk to him about this, but he's just not listening to me. I feel like fighting is the #1 in his life, even though he says than nathan and I are #1...like we are the backup if he doesn't go PRO...as in famous. Thanks gals...I needed to vent.

[dms1981]

That really sucks pamela. Its one thing to be excited about the fight and talking about it a little. You guys should try to comprise with something like he can talk about the fight but if you are talking about something especially your son can he not change the subject, Then tell him the next time he askes about the wedding tell him if he was interested he would know what is going on but he is making sound like he is not interest at all

[2bmrspage]

It's one thing to change the subject when you talk about wedding stuff (Bruce does that a lot)....but to change it when talking about your kid. That's different. It is ok to be excited about it but you need to address the problem to him.

[bjandamanda]

Maybe you should start calling him "Fightzilla."

...Okay that wasn't very clever but you get the point. xD

[jersey82]

hes probably just really exciting about the new martial arts thing. give it time im sure it will pass. but tell him how it makes you feel and that you want time withhim without involving fighting

[robandgabrielle]

With mine it's not fighting or any particular changing of subjects, just poor communication altogether. And his apparent thinking that I have the gift of telepathy. It feels, and all evidence tells me, that I am doing everything about the wedding. It didn't start that way but it sure feels it now as we're closing in on one month. I have to tell him he needs to do this or that. And then I have to ask if he did this or that. And then he acts like it's only possible to make one phone call a day. Today, I texted him that I needed a favor. He texts back that he has to go pick up something from UPS. Which one does he want me to do? Without even asking what the favor is, he's decided it's impossible to do more than go to UPS. Then he wonders why I'm frustrated.

Talked to him at lunch and he says he got up at 4:30 so he could do some homework (his only valid reason for not doing more) and then help with stuff this evening (though I won't even be home as I'll be at choir practice--forgot to mention that to him). I told him I wasn't telepathic. I didn't know he got up at 4:30 nor his intentions for doing so. I do take his need to do homework seriously, but I can't assume he's helping me at all if he never communicates that he's doing so or has any intention to do so. I've tried giving him "ownership" of some details, like our frequent flyer miles for one leg of our honeymoon and groomsmen gifts. He needs to call about the miles because they're not all there and he's let 2 deal offers on the groomsmen gifts go by.

Errggg... Well, enough of my venting. Communication is a very important thing and my biggest concern for our upcoming marriage. He realizes he lacks communication skills, so that's a step in the right direction, but it's still a concern. As it is with your fighter. It is reasonable, I think, to have a sit-down with him and tell him how he never sees his son and even changes the subject when you try to talk to him about his son. Question him about Nathan to prove he's lost contact. And perhaps do the same with the wedding plans.